Return to the Light: Uke Flu Romantica
by Cerberus Revised
Summary: This is the sequel to "Days Without Sun" and prequel to "The Uke Flu." Now that Misaki has has been rescued, he and Akihiko return to Japan to try and recover their lives there. But much healing needs to be done and Korovin's legacy continues on in ways that no one expected. How will the couple navigate this new world? Can their love survive the continued aftermath? MPREG. Now "M."
1. Flight

**This is an early solstice gift dedicated to the Lovely TBF101. May it also bring a little seasonal joy to all the other wonderful readers and reviewers of "Days without Sun" who have petitioned for the continuation of that story. So here you have it... Sequel to "Days without Sun" and prequel to "The Uke Flu" (Which I truly do intend to return to at some point).**

**1st note: I know FF's repeat policy, but for continuity's sake, the first chapter here is "Returns" but also part the last of the "Days" epilogue. Chapter two starts the new material for this story.**

**2nd note: If you haven't read DWS, it would be seriously helpful before reading this fic.**

**3rd note: I will soon be moving a copy of DWS to my tumblr account under daniel-lazerus along with all of my other fics from all my various pennames. It would be nice to maybe see a few of you over there too.**

**Hope this fic meets your expectations.**

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><p><strong><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or any of its characters<strong>**

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><p><strong>Return to the Light<br>**

**Chapter One: Flight  
><strong>

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><p>Misaki opened his eyes slowly, blinking. He'd been jarred from sleep by a <em>bump<em>. Not that he was disappointed to be roused, his dreams had been disturbing as usual.

It took him a moment to recall where he was and he blushed when he realized he was currently stretched across the length of two wide, plush seats. One of these seats also held Usagi-san, who he'd apparently been using as a pillow.

Feeling Misaki stir, Akihiko looked down from the book he'd been reading. He set the book face down on the seat across the aisle so he could reach down and brush the damp bangs back from Misaki's forehead.

Misaki was grateful that Usagi-san didn't verbalize the question his solemn face asked.

"I'm fine," he lied. "Feeling much better."

He winced as feelings of nausea contested this, however, quickly returning to him with his consciousness.

The cocked brow he received in response let him know that Akihiko wasn't buying it. Even so, Misaki was grateful he'd somehow been able to hide how sick he'd been feeling for the last week from Usagi-san until they'd gotten on the plane and into the air.

It had helped that Usagi-san had been so busy with all the travel arrangements for getting them back to Japan. Otherwise, Misaki had feared that between Usagi-san and his doctors, he would have been made to remain at New Days for even longer.

Realizing Akihiko was staring at him; Misaki frowned and closed his eyes against the intensity of his lover's violet gaze. He allowed the cool fingers to continue smoothing his brow: it was soothing.

"How much longer until we get there?"

Akihiko was worried, but his lips quirked into a slight smile at the question. He was pleased Misaki was so anxious to get home. However, he wondered if Misaki yet understood the true extent of what they'd be facing once they got to Tokyo; although they'd had a taste of it leaving the center.

Recalling the throngs of reporters that crowded around the limo as they pulled out of _New Days_ to head to the airport, Akihiko grimaced. The events with Korovin had catapulted them into a dark kind of international stardom: everyone wanted to see and hear from those who'd survived.

Their trip to the airstrip had been slow going as cars followed alongside them, honking. Several helicopters, too, had circled above them on the drive to tarmac: paparazzi with high powered lenses hoping to get a shot of he and Misaki behind the limo's tinted glass.

He'd even had to have one of the flight attendants removed from the private Usami jet that had been sent from Japan to retrieve them, when he'd caught her trying to sneak pics with her phone of Misaki, curled up asleep, in his chair.

_Thank Kami-sama we were still on the ground. I'm going to have the ass of whoever it was that let that bitch on this plane._

Snapping himself away from his dark thoughts, Akihiko answered at last. "We've been in the air just over ten hours so we have another ten, maybe eleven hours or so… Why?"

"Just wondering…" Misaki murmured sleepily.

Looking down at his boy, Akihiko felt a new wave of worry wash over him. He had agreed to let the doctors give Misaki a potent tranquilizer before leaving the center. Given how Misaki was with new spaces, even within _New Days_, despite the months they'd been there, this measure had made sense.

Akihiko knew Misaki had been terribly anxious about leaving. For the last week, in fact, the boy had been elusive and withdrawn. A pang of guilt pierced him that he hadn't been more available, but there had been so much to arrange before they left. Not only that, but he'd been advised of late that his hovering wasn't helping Misaki's recovery.

_Fuck that, I'll hover if I want._

Akihiko looked down at his beloved. Misaki seemed to be sleeping again and he exhaled a soft sigh of relief. The doctors had promised there would be no side-effects to the tranquilizer, other than Misaki sleeping initially, and then maybe feeling a bit groggy later as the drug wore off. Given this, he had never anticipated that Misaki would have such a violent reaction; throwing up three times once they'd boarded the plane within the span of a few hours before finally drifting off into a fitful sleep. If he'd known, he would have never allowed them to give it to him.

Suddenly Misaki bolted upright.

"Misaki?!"

"Bag!" Misaki rasped out, his face pale, forehead beaded with sweat.

Before Akihiko could call out, the remaining flight attendant was there, holding a plastic bag for Misaki to vomit into. Guaranteed by the fees she earned from Usami Corps for her services, her pretty, painted face remained a mask of serenity even as Misaki retched.

"Enough of this!"

Akihiko stood up and strode through the curtain separating the front quarters from the back of the jet where their personal Usami Corps' physician sat, along with one of the Usami lawyers, a publicist, and a team of mixed security professionals.

The Doctor looked up from his laptop where he was playing solitaire. "Mr. Usami."

"He's sick again. You said it wasn't the drugs, so what's going on?"

Used to attending demanding clients, Dr. Pena stood up and headed toward the front of the plane. When he and Akihiko had arrived at Misaki's seat, the flight attendant had already dealt with the mess. They found Misaki sitting relatively upright, a cool damp cloth on the back of his neck and a ginger ale clasped in one hand.

Weary eyes opened and Misaki stiffened at the sight of the doctor. Pena was relatively new to him and so, made him uneasy. He relaxed only slightly at the sight of Usagi-san standing behind the physician. It didn't help his anxiety that even though Akihiko looked composed, by the dark shade of Usagi-san's eyes he could tell that his Rabbit was angry about something.

Dr. Pena stepped closer and leaned down slightly. "Mr. Usami says you were sick again, Mr. Takahashi?"

Misaki felt his cheeks get hot. He looked nervously at Akihiko and then nodded.

"You told me what it was you'd eaten before, and given the source of your food there at New Days, food poisoning seems unlikely. And I understand you've never had an issue with flying before either. Right?"

Pena reached over to press his hand to Misaki's forehead but moved a little too quickly. He realized his mistake seeing him shrink back as Akihiko bristled forward.

"I'm just going to check your temperature, Mr. Takahashi… Please relax," Pena soothed. The moment his hand brushed against Misaki's skin he frowned: the boy was searing.

He looked over at Akihiko. "Well, I think we have our culprit. He wasn't running a fever before but he has one now. I was told he gets these frequently."

Akihiko frowned. "Never like this! They don't make him vomit!"

Despite the sharp tone in Usami's voice, Pena remained nonplussed. "Then it's likely a twenty-four hour bug. He should be over it by the time we land and hopefully no one else in this closed air system comes down with it."

"Please, make some ice packs up for Mr. Takahashi." Pena nodded to the attendant, who immediately headed back into the cabin's kitchen area to comply. "I'll go back to my things and get him some fever reducers. These measures and keeping him hydrated are the best we can do until we land."

As soon as Dr. Pena moved off to retrieve the medicine Misaki looked up at Akihiko with anxious eyes. His fever-flushed face grew pinker.

"I'm s-sorry, Usagi-san… I don't m-mean to m-make problems."

The shake in Misaki's voice made Akihiko's heart clench. It was not a good sign when Misaki began to stutter. He tried to remind himself that the doctors at _New Days_ had warned him about how difficult this would be. They had all been fearful that he and Misaki were leaving too soon. So much damage had been done.

His mind went immediately to one of the other boys who had left _New Days_ weeks before against the staff's warning. He'd committed suicide shortly thereafter.

_But then he wasn't Misaki, and he didn't have someone like me beside him…_

Stepping over, Akihiko leaned down and pressed a kiss to Misaki's forehead. Though he was shocked at how hot his boy's skin was he kept his voice even.

"You will never be a problem, Misaki."

Before Misaki could protest, the attendant returned with the ice. Akihiko helped him up while he had her pull the double seats out to form a much more comfortable bed. Blankets arranged, Akihiko retrieved Suzuki-san from his single seat and set him up at the head of Misaki's new nest as both guardian and pillow.

If it wasn't for the tranquilizers in his veins and the fever in his head, Misaki would have been more reluctant, but given his present state he allowed Usagi-san to get him settled, all but tucking him in. He sighed, sinking into Suzuki-san's comforting plush as Akihiko placed an icepack behind his neck and one at his crown.

"I can't believe Aikawa-san found Suzuki-san for you, Usagi-san." Misaki's voice was heavy with sleep but sounded happy.

"Yes," Akihiko hummed as he took a new seat across from Misaki where he could keep an eye on him.

Suzuki-san, rather than be a comfort, had become a non-entity when Misaki was taken. Given this, he'd left his previously treasured bear behind with quite a number of other things at the Garopaba flat when they'd ended up taking such sudden residence at _New Days. _When the case broke, unscrupulous celebrity treasure hunters had broken in and taken most everything.

His amazing editor had taken it upon herself to embark on another search and recovery mission and, with Santo Justino's help, they had somehow tracked the bear down. Aikawa's reasoning for this effort was that Misaki would need a friendly face when he returned to Japan, one that wasn't her author's.

Akihiko winced lightly at his neglect and its result, as Suzuki-san regarded him with an accusatory stare from across the aisle.

"_I'll make it up to you, I promise, Old Friend."_

The shuffle of feet on the carpet drew his attention away from things he could do to win back Suzuki-san's favor: Dr. Pena had returned with Misaki's pills.

"I'll give them to him."

Akihiko rose and held out his hand. Misaki was already drifting and he didn't want him disturbed. Pena's face darkened at this, but rather than retort he merely dropped the two capsules in to the outstretched palm.

"Give him these and we'll see where's he's at in a few hours." Pena gruffed, before he retreated to the far end of the plane where the atmosphere was notably warmer.

After getting a bottle of water from the attendant, Akihiko moved back to his sleepy lover.

"Misaki…"

Kneeling beside him, Akihiko cracked the bottle and filled the back of his mouth with water. He placed the capsules on his tongue and leaned over, catching Misaki's mouth with his own as his blossom roused.

Sleepy green eyes widened, but Misaki accepted both the medicine and the kiss. When they parted, still half asleep he snorted. "Stupid, Usagi… Now you're going to get sick too."

A cool hand caressed Misaki's cheek. "No, I'm not. And by tomorrow you won't be sick anymore either."

A small pang on conviction prodded Misaki into fuller wakefulness at these words, knowing that he'd in fact been feeling this way for far longer than Usagi-san could imagine.

He watched Akihiko move back over across from him and sit down, book soon in hand again, waiting for him to nod off before he returned to his novel.

"Yeah, I'll feel better tomorrow, once we're home again." Misaki muttered this half outloud as he sank back down into Suzuki-san's soft lap, eyelids closing already. It was a promise he offered for both and Usagi-san and himself, not knowing that this was one promise he'd never be able to keep.

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><p><strong>All my fellow Egoists please forgive me for stealing that HirokiNowaki scene for the Romantica couple here.  
><strong>

**Thank you for reading!**


	2. Touching Down

**Return to the Light**

**Chapter Two: Touching Down**

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><p>Tokyo's electric skyline lit up the night. Through the plane's window Misaki watched the millions of tiny lights come into view. He drew a deep breath, his chest suddenly too tight for all the tumultuous emotions it contained. Gratitude, joy, fear, nostalgia, sorrow all churned with a river rapid's power within him.<p>

Pulling his eyes away from the hypnotic glow of the city, he turned and glanced over at Akihiko. If he was feeling any similar sorts of emotions, Usagi-san didn't show it, sitting straight-backed and solemn faced in his chair, tapping an unlit cigarette on the table beside him.

The tapping stopped and Akihiko looked up. When their eyes met, though Usagi-san's expression didn't alter, Misaki felt a wave of uncomfortable gratitude wash over him, understanding that more than just wanting a smoke, his lover was nervous too.

"Still feeling better, Misaki?"

Misaki felt his cheeks pink, hating that Usagi-san continued to see him in such compromised states. He nodded.

His sickness hours before seemed to have passed. Though anxious, the additional medications Dr. Pena had provided were keeping this at a manageable level too. In fact, he was feeling so much restored that he'd been awake for some time now, sitting up, Suzuki-san seatmate beside him, as he flipped through a pile of manga that the flight attendant provided.

"I'm feeling better now, Usagi-san. I think that last, long nap really kicked whatever it was."

Akihiko nodded himself. "Your color does seem much better. Though it's had to tell sometimes what's fever and what's blush."

Misaki dropped his eyes, his cheeks heating further at the tease. "Stupid, Usagi-san."

He didn't look back up when he heard the click of Akihiko's seatbelt release, or when he felt Suzuki-san shift, soft fur pulled away to be replaced by a leaner, harder body.

Cool fingers brushed the bottom of Misaki's jaw, catching it, and his head was turned and tipped back up. When he at last met the pale gaze, the look of love on Usagi-san's face made him shiver.

Akihiko's eyes were cool, violet pools, bottomless in the concern they held.

"Misaki, we're going to be landing in fifteen minutes. Are you ready for this? I can make this plane turn around right now. We can go anywhere you want in the world."

To be held in such regard made Misaki's chest ache anew and he struggled to keep his breathing even.

"All I want is to go home, Usagi-san… Our home."

Hearing the sureness in his boy's voice, a tight smile curled the corners of Akihiko's mouth.

"You know, Misaki, things will be different now… You saw a little of this when we left _New Days_... People know you, they know us… From the news… There will be questions… You'll be recognized…

"It's not going to be easy."

Misaki hunched into himself at these words, the truth of them frightened him but he wasn't about to let Usagi-san know this.

"Like life was easy before?" He snorted. "Living with a famous author that everyone adores… Press and fangirls after you all the time… I think I can handle it!"

Akihiko snorted himself and his smile loosened just a bit. He knew that Misaki's bluster was just that. Even so, it warmed his heart that after all he'd endured his lover could manage this bravado.

"You know there will be people waiting to meet us too when we land."

The fire in green eyes flickered at these words.

"Takahiro?"

Akihiko shook his head. The brothers had spoken several times on the phone during Misaki's recovery, but there was so much healing that the two still needed to do.

"I talked with Takahiro and he thought it would be best for him to come see you once you'd gotten settled. He didn't want to overwhelm you.

"Plus, I know that he prefered your reunion to be a private affair. No need to have a bunch of people looking on. Eh?"

Misaki dropped his eyes and studied his hands. He understood this was for the best and was grateful for the consideration. Even so, over the last few weeks his desire to see his older brother had become all but unbearable and knowing that he would have to wait even longer brought impatient tears to his eyes.

"Then, who _will _be there?"

"Well, Aikawa-san for one."

At this Misaki's head popped up. Wiping the tears away with the back of his sleeve, he smiled. He had cried so much in front of Akihiko the last few months he was much less self-conscious about it these days.

"It will be so good to see her again. I've missed her!"

"Me too." Akihiko nodded and couldn't help press a kiss to Misaki's forehead. His lips turned into a frown at how warm Misaki's brow still was.

"Who else?"

Buoyed by the new of Aikawa, Misaki was suddenly eager. His enthusiasm left him, however, at Akihiko's next words.

"My father.

"I told him to stay away, but he insisted." Akihiko felt the immediate ebb in his boy's energy.

"I'm sorry, Misaki. But after all he's done for the survivors, I could hardly deny him, even as much as I wanted to."

The thought of encountering Usami-chichi, the man knowing so much about everything that had happened to him, to them both, made Misaki want to pull away, but Akhiko had anticipated this and pulled him closer, holding him an a tender but iron embrace.

It didn't take long for the stiffness to leave Misaki's thin frame and for him to lean in, all but hiding himself in Usagi-san's arms.

Akihiko rested his chin lightly atop Misaki's dark head. Knowing when to hold tight and when to release was a tricky step in their relationship dance these days, as they both vacillated in their various healings. He was glad he'd chosen correctly this time. He wasn't always so fortunate and the results, when this happened, were often disastrous.

Right now though, Misaki snuggled closer against him and Akihiko could feel his lover tentatively drawing on his strength. There was nothing vampiric in this need, in fact if anything, when Misaki pulled on him in this way, it bolstered Akihiko. It made him feel useful after so many months of utter, maddening, helplessness. And Korovin had taken so much from his boy, left Misaki so drained…

"Whatever happens, Misaki… I will be here for you. There is nothing that you have to face alone."

There was both truth and falseness in this assurance and, after all they'd endured, each man knew this too well. Misaki said nothing in response, but some of Akihiko's own tension left him when, finally, he felt the dark head against his chest nod.

A slight bump as the landing gear descended startled them; Misaki straightened and gently pushed back. This time Akihiko released him, settling into Suzuki-san's seat. The bear regarded him from across the aisle with affronted, black eyes and Akihiko offered the stuffed toy a nod of apology before turning away.

For the remainder of the trip both he and Misaki sat silent, eyes fixed on the city as it rose up to meet them. Two hearts tied together, their beats accelerating, each with his own uncertainties.

They were coming home… but home to what?

Misaki's green eyes widened once the plane had landed and the small jet didn't stop at any of the usual deplaning stations but continued along the tarmac. He turned and looked questioningly at Akihiko.

Akihiko nodded to a hanger that loomed ever-larger on the horizon.

"We're going to pull in there, Misaki. Like Brazil, the press has been swarming around the airport for the last three days; ever since it was leaked that we were returning."

Misaki swallowed the lump in his throat as the dark mouth of the hanger opened before them.

"Isn't that a lot of trouble, Usagi-san? I mean, so someone takes a few pictures." Though it frightened Misaki to imagine that they could possibly encounter similar throngs here in Japan.

Akihiko gave Misaki another tense smile and ruffled his head, watching with sad amusement as his hand was batted lightly away. The urge to keep Misaki from all that was waiting beyond the wings of the Usami jet welled in his chest once more.

When the plane at last rolled to a stop, Akihiko popped up quickly and reached for his laptop case, coat, and the single cigarette still resting atop the table.

Misaki got up too, his legs a bit shaky, but he straightened his stance when he noticed Usagi-san watching him so warily. Reaching for his extra hoodie, despite how warm he felt, Misaki pulled it on over his head, the weight of the overlarge shirt and its softness helping to ground him.

"Ah, Misaki…" Akihiko tipped his head at the waiting Suzuki-san. "Will you grab Senhor Suzu?"

Smiling at the nickname Santo Justino had given Suzuki-san, Misaki nodded, happy to do something useful to distract him from his mounting unease. He scooped the big, golden bear up in his arms, not knowing that Usagi-san had given him this task on purpose.

Not only did Suzuki-san's bulk make a good, if fuzzy, shield but holding the toy was another thing Akihiko had learned helped keep Misaki from disassociating in stressful situations.

As they stepped out into the tall expanse of the hanger, Misaki inhaled deeply, longing for fresh air after so many hours breathing the canned air of the plane. Instead, however, he was struck by the overwhelming smell of asphalt and jet fuel and it made his stomach uneasy again.

He wondered what was wrong with him lately; his sense of smell seemed over-acute these days. Holding Suzuki-san up to his nose, he breathed through the bear's fur. Suzuki smelled comfortingly of both _New Days_ and Usagi-san.

Any further thoughts about his olfactory sensitivity fled from his mind when Misaki's eyes finally took in the scene before him. There was a large contingent of people all milling around, and behind them, half a dozen limos with their engines at idle.

In the midst of this stood Usagi-san's father talking to a man with a camera. The Usami patriarch looked just as imposing as usual, wearing an expensive camel-hair longcoat, his neck draped with a pale, cashmere scarf.

Feeling Misaki's eyes on him, Fuyuhiko raised his head from the conversation he'd been holding and their gazes locked. Misaki was mortified when his body began to automatically tremble. He dropped his head down behind Suzuki-san's fuzzy ears.

Usami-chichi had never held back his disapproval about the relationship between he and Usagi-san. And now, because of what had happened with Korovin, not only had his son's relationship been exposed, but Fuyuhiko had spent literally millions of dollars cleaning up the Russian madman's mess.

What Usami-chichi must think of him now, what he might say, these thoughts suddenly made Misaki feel faint. Before his knees could give out, a large hand pressed against his shoulders.

Akihiko nodded down at him, his impassive mask slipped into place. His voice was low and warm, however. "Remember, Misaki. I am by your side." Placing his cigarette between his lips and lighting up, he coughed lightly.

"Come on, we should go greet your father-in-law."

Of course, they weren't married, but that Usagi-san used these words only solidified once more for Misaki his place in his dear Rabbit's life. Feigning annoyance he grumbled, "That's not funny, Usagi-san."

The hand on his shoulder gave a comforting pat. "It wasn't meant to be, Misaki."

Before he could begin to protest, Misaki felt himself and Suzuki-san pressed forward. Glancing over his shoulder behind him, he realized that the rest of the Usami entourage traveling with he and Usagi-san was just as eager as he had been to get off of the jet.

He blushed, feeling badly now for holding everyone up.

Squeezing Suzuki-san tighter against him as he and Usagi-san neared Fuyuhiko, Misaki felt his anxiety spike.

Drawing on the calming techniques he'd learned at _New Days_ he'd been doing okay, not quite stumbling along. But his feet came to a halt and refused to go further when the familiar, dark head of Haruhiko emerged from out of one of the parked limos.

While Haruhiko had never done anything too terrible to him, seeing the older Usami brother, Misaki's immediate associations slipped from strawberries to unlawful confinement in an instant. The memory of Haruhiko locking him in the Usami mansion a trigger, sparking a dozen other far more awful memories.

Misaki dropped his eyes, his breath suddenly leaving him.

Over the last months Akihiko's senses had become honed to every subtle shift in his boy. He noted the sudden misstep, the hitch in breath, and saw the way Misaki's thin, scarred fingers gripped Suzuki's golden fur tighter. Pale eyes darted amongst the crowd to see what had set him off.

He exhaled a dark aura along with his smoke the instant his eyes fell upon Haruhiko.

Throwing his cigarette to the ground, Akihiko strode over the last remaining steps to his father.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"Good to see you too, my son," Fuyuhiko's brow creased at how quickly Akihiko had slipped into his old rudeness.

"The president asked me to come, as I am handling certain _arrangements_." Haruhiko closed the phone he'd been talking on and intercepted his brother. "And besides, it doesn't seem inappropriate as _family,_ to wish to be among the first to welcome you and Misaki back home."

The way Haruhiko's voice held Misaki's name incensed Akihiko. There was no doubt in his mind that Haruhiko could care less about greeting him and had, instead, come only to oogle the unrequited object of his affections.

"You, stay away from Misaki! The last thing he needs is your harassment!"

Akihiko's voice was sharp, his posture puffed up protectively, at least until a fit of coughing caught him. Haruhiko's brow rose in mock surprise and he was hard pressed to hold back the pleased smirk that wanted to settle on his features. He had not expected to be witness so soon to his half-brother's compromised health or one of his undignified outbursts.

"If you care so much for Misaki, I would recommend you spend your time keeping a better eye on him and not wasting your energy, abusing well-meaning family members."

There were few things Haruhiko could have said that could have cut Akihiko more deeply. Not one hour since Misaki had first been taken had he been free from a sense of guilt; that all that had happened could have been prevented if he'd only kept Misaki closer to him.

Following the nod of Haruhiko's dark head, Akihiko turned his own quickly. A look of panic seized his features seeing Misaki behind him, crouching low to the ground, Suzuki-san lying nearby. Aikawa had rushed from where she'd been on the sidelines and was kneeling beside him.

"Misaki!"

Dr. Pena was already bending down next to Misaki as well, his hand on a thin wrist checking his pulse. Several more physicians numbered among the attending crowd, and these too had stepped forward.

Aikawa was leaning in towards Misaki, their faces were close and she seemed to be whispering to him. One of her hands was in his hair, lightly stroking. Akihiko all but pushed Pena aside as he knelt down beside her.

"Misaki…"

His boy's dark head was bowed and though Akihiko couldn't see his face, he saw the growing spots on the concrete below, tiny stains left by falling tears. Placing a careful hand over Misaki's he called out again.

"Mi-chan…"

After a few moments of terrible silence, Misaki's broken voice stuttered out, "You're g-going to ruin your p-pants on the concrete, Usagi-san…"

Akihiko grunted at this. "To hell with my trousers! Misaki, are you okay?" He knew even as he asked, this was stupid question: Misaki had been far from okay since the first moments he'd been kidnapped.

Even so, Misaki nodded. "I j-just… I…"

"This is s-so embarrassing…"

"Nothing to be embarrassed about Misaki. I'm sure you're just overtaxed. It was a long flight, after all."

Above Misaki's still-bowed head Aikawa glanced over at Akihiko as she said this and he shot her a look of gratitude back.

"I remember when I first got back from Brazil. Isaka-san came to meet me and I was so overwhelmed to be back in Tokyo, I almost passed out in his arms in the baggage claim. It was so mortifying.

"Even worse, now he won't stop teasing me about it."

Not looking up, Misaki emitted a sniffled huff of humor at the thought of Aikawa, fiercest of editors and rescuer of bears, swooning amongst circling suitcases.

"Do you think you can stand?" Akihiko lightly pulled at Misaki's hand. He was relieved when Misaki followed him up with little difficulty. Soon the three of them were vertical again, Aikawa now holding a recovered Suzuki-san.

"Usami-sama, you should let us check Takahashi-san's vitals."

Frowning at one of what was obviously one of the Usami Corps numerous medics, Akihiko shook his head.

"Really, Akihiko… you should let one of them look Takahashi-kun over." Fuyuhiko's strong voice carried over the hubbub as he drew close. In an instant the milling around Misaki and Akihiko stopped and the hanger grew quiet.

Aikawa started to step to the side, but Akihiko reached out a hand and lightly touched her wrist. Understanding what her author was asking, she stepped out of the way, but remained close to Misaki.

"Do you need a doctor, Misaki?" Akihiko asked the question but his pale eyes held his father's in challenge.

Misaki looked up for just a moment, his eyes still wet with tears, his cheeks burning with shame at causing such a commotion. He dropped his head down again and wiped his eyes with the arm of his sweatshirt.

"N-no… No, I'm s-sorry to have worried anyone. I'm fine."

After working so carefully to orchestrate everything, Fuyuhiko felt that already the situation of his son's homecoming had gotten out of hand. And after all his planning, he was not about to let things get out of control. Rather than risk another outburst from Akihiko, he nodded his head in assent, but not without adding.

"Well, we'll trust Takahashi-kun to know his own state. However, I really must insist that one of the family physician's accompany you home and look Takahashi-kun over once he's settled."

This idea didn't sit well with Akihiko. He felt he'd already allowed his father too much leeway in controlling how things had unfolded at _New Days_ and with Jadir. At the same time he didn't want to stress Misaki further with anymore conflict or commotion and, knowing what still lay ahead of them tonight, having a doctor on hand would undoubtedly be wise.

"Fine. But I want Pena-sensei attending… not, yet another one of your minions. I want to get Misaki home as soon as possible."

Behind Misaki, Dr. Pena frowned, obviously not entirely happy to have his appointment extended.

Fuyuhiko looked from his son to his son's lover. The dark head before him remained downcast.

"I would like to take a minute to welcome Takahashi-kun back to Japan, back home, and if he feels up to it, we should get a picture or two."

Akihiko was incensed by his father's words. "This is not a fashion shoot!"

"You know as well as I do, Akihiko…" Fuyuhiko's voice had taken on its boardroom cadence. "This situation needs to be managed carefully. Having something from Usami Corps to give to the press won't keep them away, but it might slow their frenzy!"

"I won't have Misaki exploited further!"

A quiet noise to the side caught both Usamis' attention. They stilled and their bristling smoothed out a bit seeing the wide, green eyes flashing back and forth between them.

Misaki hated that the two men were talking about him as though he wasn't present. And while he didn't want to go against Akihiko, at the same time he wanted to placate Usami-chichi.

"P-please, Usagi-san…" his voice was hesitant. "I don't mind… I'm much better… And happy to do it if it will help the company… After all Usami C-corps has done…"

"See, there?!" Fuyuhiko offered a tight-lipped smile to his son, his tone pleased. "Takahashi-kun is agreeable, why can't you be?"

Akihiko's expression was grave. He did not like the way Misaki looked at all. His boy's face had grown increasingly pale since they'd stepped off the plane and he could tell by the way Misaki was clenching his fists in the pockets of his hoodie, his tender nerves were taxed to their limit.

"Usagi-san…"

Hearing the quiet plea in Misaki's voice, Akihiko relented. The sooner they finished with all his father's P.R. hoopla, the sooner he'd have Misaki safely ensconced and resting.

"Fine." He ground out. His long fingers unconsciously shifted, seeking in his pockets for another cigarette. He knew he'd promised to quit, but Misaki's wasn't the only one whose nerves were stretched at the moment.

The ten minutes it took for the exchange of formal greetings and welcomes and the cameraman's careful posings seemed like hours to Akihiko. He was grateful however that Haruhiko at least had the decency to withdraw back to their father's limo without pressing himself upon Misaki too.

The minute the photographer nodded to Fuyuhiko that he'd gotten all the needed shots, without saying goodbye to his father, Akihiko stubbed out his newest cigarette, took Misaki's hand, and began leading him to one of the waiting limos. He motioned for Aikawa to follow them and she climbed into the car, Suzuki-san in tow. Dr. Pena followed too, but took to the limo's front with the driver to give the three their privacy.

As soon as the door closed, Akihiko breathed a sigh of relief and wrapped an arm around Misaki pulling him close. With Aikawa present, Misaki was reluctant, but he tolerated the embrace, knowing that this was what Usagi-san needed. He was just as conscious of his older lover as Akihiko was of him. Misaki knew that whatever had happened between Usagi-san and Korovin, Usagi-san was still not entirely himself and he worried about what the stress of their landing had done to him.

Now that they had a little more privacy, Aikawa began asking gentle questions and chattering on about things at Marukawa. It was her own way of pulling two of her favorite men's mind away from the drama that had just transpired. With her high spirit and bright voice, soon both Misaki and Akihiko began to relax.

When the car began moving Misaki looked out the windows. He was stunned to see all the other limos beginning to move as well as a dozen other vehicles, the hanger now all but empty of people. The cars formed a caravan off of the tarmac, but once they reached a certain point, the limos separated. Misaki watched the other long, black cars split off. It looked like they were each seeking out a different exit.

Akihiko noted this too along with Misaki's wondering expression. Settling himself back against the rich leather he sighed. "All of the limos are going to different places. It was planned this way to throw the press off, keep them divided."

"Our car will take us to a secure underground parkway and we'll switch vehicles there before going home."

Misaki's expression became incredulous. "I don't understand, Usagi-san… Why go to so much trouble? Are the reporters really so much of a problem? And anyways, it's not as though where you… where we live is a secret."

At these words across the seat from him, Aikawa's eyes grew wide. She looked at Akihiko with shock.

"Sensei… Didn't you tell him?"

Akihiko shook his slivered head. Then he drew a deep breath, and dropped his eyes away from his editor's hard stare. He'd put it off as long as possible and now he could no longer postpone the inevitable.

"Tell me what, Usagi-san?"

Violet eyes rose at the tremor in Misaki's voice. Akihiko had known that in his precarious emotional state, unexpected shifts could set Misaki back significantly. He also knew how important it was that his boy felt he had some control over his life. At the same time, he hadn't known how else to handle the situation.

"I'm sorry, Misaki… We've moved."

Misaki pulled back. His eyes shifted between Aikawa and Usagi-san, his head shaking lightly in disbelief.

"What are you saying, Usagi-san?"

Akihiko reached out to take Misaki's trembling hand. His expression became even more grave when his boy pulled his hand quickly away.

"Please forgive me, Misaki… It's not just the reporters. It wasn't safe for you there … for us… any longer… Not after what's happened.

"We're going to a new apartment tonight; one where, hopefully, we can have some peace for a while as things settle down.

"The way things are, this is the only way. We just can't go back… That's not our home anymore, Misaki."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading and hope to hear from you.<strong>


	3. Retreats

**Return to the Light**

**Chapter Two: Retreats  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Misaki felt his heartbeat skyrocket at Usagi-san's words. His mind reeled trying to process what he'd just been told.<p>

Before he could say anything however, Aikawa jumped in.

"How could you not have told him, Sensei! I can't believe you!"

Akihiko's brow furrowed at the angry disbelief in his editor's tone. Rather than answer her, however, he shifted his violet eyes over to Misaki.

"Usagi-san…"

Misaki was so overwhelmed he couldn't tell which emotion to follow: there were so many. His chest constricted. To have come back all this way, dreaming of the quiet comfort of Akihiko's toy-strewn flat, their home, and to suddenly be told it wasn't there anymore…

"Is our home r-really g-gone?"

The stutter that shook his words made Misaki cringe, but even worse was that he'd hardly the breath to push them out. In an instant, cool hands slipped over his trembling fingers and a slivered brow was pressed to his own.

"No, Misaki…" Akihiko's voice was low and as cool as his touch. "We have a home, Love… Wherever we are, together… That's home for us."

Despite the fact that his world was spinning again, Misaki pulled away from Usagi-san's anchoring touch. As good as this sentiment sounded in greeting cards and daytime dramas, it was not enough for him at the moment: he needed a safe space.

His mind filled with flashbacks again, but these had nothing to do with Korovin. Instead, he saw earlier times, just after the death of his parents: he and Takahiro packing up boxes to move to a shabby apartment, the place they'd spent their whole lives no longer theirs.

Seeing the desperation flare in Misaki's green eyes, Akihiko cursed himself. He knew Aikawa was right, Misaki should have been told. But he'd had no idea how to tell his recovering lover that despite the security of their building, their flat had been broken into several times in the last few months, and not just by moral-less news seekers.

While most of the people interested in the story of the _New Days'_ survivors were merely morbidly curious, Korovin's exploits had gained quite a following by other "imbalanced" individuals. And Misaki, along with a number of the other freed captives, had become the focus of a sick "fanclub" of twisted minds, a number of whom expressed (usually anonymously) a desire to pick up with Korovin's victims where the doctor had left off.

In light of this, Akihiko had taken as many protective measures as possible. Even going as far as having a special Usami-Corps secretary appointed, for no other reason, than to scan and delete the disturbing entries that had begun popping up on Misaki's e-mail and social media accounts. Not that Misaki was online much these days, thankfully.

Meanwhile, he himself had intercepted any number of physical letters already from these demented admirers, addressed to Misaki at _New Days_ and in the mail to him forwarded from Tokyo while they were at the clinic. But these deranged pursuits hadn't stopped there: a few weeks ago, when rumors first suggested he and Misaki were returning to Tokyo, one particularly disturbed individual had been caught hiding inside their old flat.

The man had broken quite a few things, scrawled the apartment's walls with obscenities, and injured two of the security guards who'd found him before being subdued.

Getting the report of this, there was no way Akihiko could risk his boy's safety by returning to that place, and, given his lover's tenuous mental health, he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell Misaki what had happened.

Seeing the fear, the open expression of pained betrayal in Misaki's green gaze in this moment, made Akihiko want to weep and the weight of his protective deception weighed even more heavily on him now than it had for the last weeks.

"Misaki…"

Watching the panic mounting in Misaki's expression, as well as in his body language, Akihiko wondered how long it would take for them to reach the garage where they would switch vehicles so Dr. Pena could give him a tranquilizer.

"Misaki, Love… Listen to me… We have a home, a safe home. You're going to love the new apartment."

His heart broke anew when he reached out again to gather Misaki in, only to have his boy flinch away, curling in on himself.

"You're hardly going to know the difference from our old place… The layout is almost exactly the same, though the view is even nicer and there are a few extra rooms for my collections…" The forced laugh at this poor attempt of humor died in Akihiko's throat, lost beneath the louder sounds of Misaki's increasingly labored breathing.

Violet eyes flashed over at Aikawa. She shot her author a sharp look back, when his expression made it clear he was holding her at least partially responsible for what was happening. Though this irked her, it pained Aikawa immensely to see Misaki's distress. Slipping off her seat she moved forward to kneel in front of him. Tentatively she raised a hand and set it on one of his trembling shoulders, encouraged when he didn't shrink from her touch.

"Misaki, you and I both know how stupid, Sensei can be." Turning her head she met Akihiko's frowning stare evenly.

Somehow her words made it through the haze of Misaki's panic. "Yeah… H-he's an idiot." Misaki huffed this out over a series of pained breaths.

Aikawa turned back to him and tried to keep her voice light. "Well, this is just another one of those times."

"I'm sure he thought it was a good idea… Giving you both a fresh start of sorts. Probably imagined, in that fantastical writer's world of his, that it would be a nice surprise for you…"

Misaki wasn't stupid, and underneath his panic he felt anger swell suddenly at Aikawa-san's tone. Aikawa couldn't know this, however, and so she carried on.

"I've been there a couple times already myself, dropping off books and things. Sensei's right, Misaki, it is so much like your old flat, you'll hardly know you've moved."

_I'm not a child!…_ Misaki suddenly wanted to yell. _Stop talking to me like I'm one!_

His fists tightened even as guilt washed over him for feeling this way. He knew that both Aikawa and Usagi-san were trying to help him, that Akihiko only wanted what was best. Still, it hurt so much to be left out of such an important conversation, to have no say in the matter.

Misaki wanted to stay with his anger; it caused the grip his terror had on him to lessen. However, suddenly he heard Korovin's voice in his head.

_Do you truly think you should have had any say in this at all, Taka-chan? _

_So your Usagi says you're lovers… calls you his "beloved…" What do you bring into the equation? You're nothing but a squatter. It's his money that has purchased this new home, not yours._

_You might be able to still buy his crazy affections with that soiled __sack of __skin you call your body, but out in the real world you couldn't even use this as a down payment on a Tokyo Bay dumpster…  
><em>

_In fact, why do you think Usami moved in the first place? It's because of you, Taka-chan and how you've disrupted his life, no doubt... You know, you're worse than a squatter... _

_You're a terrible, broken, burden._

_Worthless._

"Please stop." Misaki whispered. Taking his bottom lip between his teeth, he bit down until he tasted blood. He heard Korovin's voice less and less these days, but when the Doctor's voice did spout off, the words always cut him in the deepest of places.

"What was that Misaki?"

Aikawa's soft tones pulled Misaki back into the present.

He raised his eyes for only a moment, but it was enough for him to take in both her and Usagi-san's terribly worried expressions. Hearing Korovin, knowing he was being so troublesome to the ones he depended on, the unexpected relocation: all these made the back of the limo suddenly claustrophobic and Misaki felt his breath ramble quickly back to ragged.

"I want Suzuki-san, p-please."

Akihiko's eyes retained their concern as he motioned to Aikawa. She reach behind her and pulled Suzuki-san from his seat, awkwardly passing him over to Misaki.

For all his internal declarations that he was not a child, Misaki couldn't help himself. Pulling the big teddy to him, he scooted as far to one side of the plush bench seat as possible. Pressing himself against the door, he set Suzuki-san atop him, using the bear as a barricade from the rest of the limo's occupants.

Aikawa cocked her head at the strange arrangement, but looking over and catching her author's silent nod, she rose and slid back into her seat. Akihiko pulled a new cigarette from his pocket, twirling it through fingers that longed to reach out and touch his boy, to smooth away the huge mess he'd made of things. However, despite how much he wanted to, he held himself back, knowing that Misaki likely desperately needed this retreat at the moment.

Meanwhile, beneath Suzuki-san's soft weight, Misaki pressed his forehead against a tinted window. peering through the cool glass he focused on the lights of the cars whizzing past. His troubled eyes then lifted upwards to the ever changing light show of Tokyo's signage, seeking a familiar landmark: anything that, despite all that had changed in his life, would assure him he had indeed come back home.

* * *

><p>"See, Misaki? No need for keys or codes, all you need is your hand. The pad here scans it and uses your prints to unlock it."<p>

Akihiko tried to keep his voice light as he showed Misaki the security console at the door of their new flat. Even though he'd known what to expect, he was still impressed himself with how truly fortified their new high-security high-rise was and all of its cutting edge technology.

Misaki however, was hardly paying any attention to how their new door worked. Instead he stood silently by, Suzuki-san held awkwardly under one arm as the three good fingers on his damaged hand absently traced around the edges of the blank, brass residents' nameplate on the wall next to the door.

As the door opened in response to his own hand, Akihiko chanced reaching over with his other to gently brush Misaki's wandering fingers.

"Do you want to come look inside, Mi?"

Misaki's fingers stilled and he looked up at Akihiko just briefly before dropping his gaze back down. Akihiko frowned at the blankness in his boy's green eyes. He watched as Misaki silently dropped his hand from the plaque and shuffled obediently in through the open door.

This was not the first time Akihiko had seen Misaki like this, but it had been months since his boy had slipped into such a state. He had been like this ever since he'd emerged from beneath his Suzuki-san shield at the vehicle exchange.

The therapists at _New Days _had a name for it, they referred to it as "dissociative autopilot." Likely this time it had been brought on by the news of their move and the stress of travel. Regardless of the cause, Misaki had retreated to someplace inside himself. He remained close enough to the surface for his body to respond mechanically to simple questions, to move with some function through the world, but Misaki himself was locked away now, waiting somewhere within and would only re-emerge when he felt ready.

_When he feels safe again...  
><em>

Akihiko shook his head sadly, realizing just how badly he'd miscalculated; devastated that in his desire to keep Misaki safe, he'd actually done just the opposite.

Nodding to the attendant Dr. Pena, Akihiko stepped into the entry after Misaki. Pena followed behind.

The physician had seen no reason to sedate Misaki at this time, not when the boy was so eerily calm. And he'd suggested that they allow Misaki to experience his new home before administering something that would send him to sleep for the night. Pena had even expressed some hope that seeing the old, familiar objects from the former flat might help pull him back.

At the moment, however, Misaki stood perfectly still in the entry. Akihiko sighed as he shed his coat and set his computer case down. He slipped off his own shoes and into his regular house slippers, set out in waiting just as they would have been at the old flat.

Then he turned his attention back to Misaki.

Gently, Akihiko gave a pull to one of Suzuki-san's golden limbs, surprised, despite knowing Misaki's state that Misaki relinquished the big plushie now with virtually no reaction. Moving into the front room Akihiko placed the bear on the familiar deep-pink sofa. He stopped to admire the view beyond the flat's glass-windowed wall that separated the main room from the apartment's spacious balcony.

"What do think of that, Misaki?"

"And those windows are solar and reflective. So we can see out without anyone peeking in, while being green to boot."

Seeing the huge expanse of windows threw Akihiko's memory back to that passionate night he'd shared with Misaki at the Teito Hotel… It seemed like lifetimes ago.

Turning round, he saw that Misaki had stepped into the main room now, still clad in his street shoes. His boy stood near a row of shelves, his feeler-like fingers tenderly brushing over each object they contained.

Akihiko shook his head trying to clear it of his memories. That fiery creature he'd possessed at the Teito was so far removed this broken Misaki.

_But he'll come back to that. _

Delusional as this may have been, it was thoughts like this that Akihiko clung to these days. Until that time however, he contented himself with going over to help Misaki get out of his shoes.

* * *

><p>Despite his withdrawn state, Akihiko had given Misaki a complete tour of the new flat. He had worked with a designer and an elite moving crew over the computer, while still in Brazil, to ensure that everything was as close to the arrangement of their old home as possible. Even so, the author was stunned with the attention to detail that had gone into putting the new space together. Everything was there in perfect order, all the way down to newly secured replicas for every item Misaki's most recent stalker had destroyed.<p>

The additional rooms in the apartment, however, were relatively bare still. It had been suggested by the doctors at _New Days_ that he and Misaki might be well served to finish them together and for at least one of these to be given over to Misaki, as an additional space for himself. Particularly given that, with his current agoraphobic tendencies, Misaki would likely be spending quite a bit of time in the flat before he worked his way back out more fully into the world.

One extra room, however, had been turned into a guest bedroom, Akihiko knowing that it would be prudent to have a doctor around for a time, as much as he hated the notion of a stranger in the apartment. He'd also hoped that maybe at some point Takahiro might consider staying over a night or two.

_It could be so good for Misaki… Well, Misaki and Takahiro both._

As he nodded goodnight to Dr. Pena and watched the man close the guest room door, Akihiko sincerely hoped Misaki would come back to him before his brother's scheduled visit.

Climbing the stairs to the upper rooms, all the events of the past weeks caught up with him and Akihiko suddenly felt incredibly weary. Once at the top, however, he kept moving, not stopping to rest until he'd peeked in on Misaki, asleep in their bed. His boy's tousled dark head was still nested into its pillow, just as he'd left him.

A pang of guilt pinched Akihiko's heart at how it was almost a relief to have Misaki in his "away" place at the moment. He'd been able to get his boy up, changed and into bed without any resistance. And Misaki had accepted Pena's sedative injection with no complaints, not even a wince. Not that Misaki was ever really troublesome, it was just the constant tension, the never knowing what the response would be, what things might set him off.

Even knowing that Misaki was still sleeping soundly, Akihiko kept his own sleep preparations to a minimum: half a cigarette smoked, leaning against the upstairs rail, surveying the quiet peace of the new flat, then a quick shower, fresh pajama pants, and a brush of his teeth. The last thing he did before turning in, despite his bone-crushing fatigue, was venture into his study and power up the computer there.

A few quick clicks and he was able to see the feeds from not only a dozen different hidden cameras in the flat, but also the hall, the down stairs lobby, the garage, and several spots outside the building. Seeing that everything looked remarkably calm, Akihiko sighed and stood up from his chair. He'd been cautioned about keeping tabs on his own increased paranoia issues, but that was something he'd look at another time.

Re-entering the bedroom Akihiko climbed in to bed, careful not to jostle Misaki too much.

In the dim light of the room his heart stopped when he saw the glisten of tear tracks on his beloved's pale cheeks.

_Damn nightmares…_

It wasn't uncommon, but it pained Akihiko that his boy couldn't even find respite in his dreams.

Long fingers brushed lightly over Misaki's damp cheeks before Akihiko pressed a soft kiss to a too-hot forehead. These gentle touches stirred soft whimpers from the sleeping youth. With a careful sigh of relief, Akihiko lay down beside Misaki, feeling both guilty and grateful when, even in his drugged state, his boy sought him out, slipping into his open arms, tucking a wet face into the crook of his neck.

It was only when he had Misaki gathered in that Akihiko at last felt all the day's tension slowly bleed from his body. He leaned his head down, snuffling his nose into his boy's dark head, comforted by the scent that was uniquely Misaki.

"Please, forgive me; I'm so sorry, Misaki… Come back to me. We can make a new home here together and things will get better... You'll get better… I love you so much, Mi. ."

Whispered into the dark locks of his living sanctuary, Akihiko offered a hundred promises, petitions, and prayers before sleep finally claimed him.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks to all you amazing readers; I was overwhelmed by your response to the start of this fic! All the favorites and follows were much appreciated too. <strong>**Hope this second chapter continues to meet your expectations. **** A few more settling in chapters and then the 1st Uke Flu baby drama will commence in full.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Returns

**Return to the Light**

**Chapter Three: Returns**

* * *

><p>Akihiko looked up from his laptop and pushed himself away from his desk with a tired exhale. Turning around in his wheeled desk-chair he was hard pressed not to sigh again at the sight that met his weary in with Suzuki-san, exactly as he had been for the past two hours, Misaki was still curled up in the study's plush armchair. Green eyes gazed, unseeing, out the large windows as his damaged hand mindlessly plucked at and petted the big bear's golden fur.<p>

_At least he seems comfortable_, Akihiko consoled himself.

His boy had been sick again earlier that day, had been every morning for the last three days, in fact.

Though he'd become a much more proficient nurse, managing someone else's sickness wasn't easy for Akihiko even at the best of times. But Misaki was still locked somewhere inside himself, functioning on autopilot, and this meant that when he did get sick, there was no warning, no rushing to the bathroom; he would just hunch over wherever he was and vomit. Keeping on the alert for any sight or sound of possible distress was exhausting. And following Misaki around with a bucket and then cleaning up after with toothbrush and paste, had left Akihiko feeling more like a zookeeper than a lover. Not to mention, wreaking hell with his already backed up writing schedule.

Akihiko rubbed his brow. His silvered head shook at these thoughts: he felt terrible when moments like this seized him.

_I'm the whole reason Misaki is like this right now in the first place; I have no right to feel frustrated._

"I should have told you, eh, Mi?"

Misaki didn't turn his head, but his hand stopped in its stroking at the sound of his voice. A weak smile curled the corner of Akihiko's mouth at this.

"I don't know about you, Misaki, but I need a smoke, and some caffeine. In that order."

Rising from his chair, Akihiko felt his spine crackle. He stretched and noted that his movements had gotten Misaki's attention. The dark head had turned his direction at last, but Misaki's green eyes remained empty. Stepping over, Akihiko slowly extended his hand.

"And maybe some tea for you? It might help settle your stomach, keep that nasty Dr. Pena from hooking you up to an IV again."

Slender fingers found and curled around his, making Akihiko's smile grow just a bit wider. With the prompt of a soft tug, Misaki rose.

"Shall we leave Senhor Suzu, Mi? I imagine he could use a bit of alone time."

There was no response, but as Akihiko began to lead Misaki out of his study he was pleased that Misaki's breathing remained light and there was no sign of panic, unlike the past two days when Suzuki-san had to be more or less attached to his side. A new furrow creased Akihiko's brow, however, glancing back, noting that the front of Misaki's khaki's were tented.

_Again?_

Thinking about how much Misaki's tender sac must ache from all his unresolved erections made him wince. He was perplexed by his lover's seemingly almost constant state of arousal over the past days. This had never been a factor in any other of Misaki's "internal vacations," as he had come to think about them. It was hard for Akihiko to tear his eyes away and not move in on what had always been such a previously stirring sight.

It was a poor substitute for what his mouth suddenly, inappropriately, hungered for, but Akihiko pulled a cigarette from the pack in his breast pocket with his free hand and set it between his lips.

"Come on, Misaki."

With a little maneuvering he managed to get Misaki down that stairs and into the kitchen, relieved to see by the time they arrived, the vault in Misaki's khaki's had softened.

They hadn't gone very far in to the kitchen when Misaki suddenly stopped and crouched down. This action put Akihiko on high alert and keen eyes scanned him quickly for any signs of new sickness or panic. Suddenly Akihiko wished he hadn't been so eager for Dr. Pena to leave the flat for his daily walk.

_Not that he's done any good these last days really. _The man's inability to discern what was making Misaki so ill recently had left him immensely frustrated.

A shift in Misaki's position instantly pulled Akihiko from his musings, his apprehension spiked. But, as Misaki slipped from sitting on his heels to his backside on the polished wood floor, it became apparent that all the boy really wanted was to sit down. Akihiko was more than happy to accommodate him. And once sure Misaki was settled and seemed comfortable, he began moving around the kitchen, readying the kettle, starting the coffee maker.

"You really should be out here to tease me about how remarkably proficient I've become, Mi."

Akihiko lit up, his lungs ached with his first drag, but delighted for the nicotine nonetheless.

"Bet you never thought I would master such 'normal' tasks like tea and coffee construction."

Opening a cupboard, Akihiko searched for a biscuit or maybe a cracker. With his illness, Misaki's weight was slipping precariously low again. He reached for a box of rice crackers, thankful he'd made sure their larder had been stocked for their arrival.

"You, know if you don't return to me soon, Misaki… I might even be forced to take up baking. Do you truly want to be responsible for unleashing 'Usami special fluffy cookies' on an unsuspecting world?"

Setting his cigarette aside, Akihiko shook a few crackers into his palm. He stepped over to Misaki and bent down to open Misaki's good hand, placing all of the crisps there but one. The remaining one he pressed lightly against pink lips.

"Takahiro's coming tomorrow and we've nothing homemade to serve him. Normally you would be appalled by this."

Automatically Misaki's mouth opened and after a moment, he nibbled at the cracker. When his damaged hand moved to take what he hadn't yet consumed, Akihiko released the crisp and stepped away again. He knew from past experience that somehow, Misaki would find the crackers in his other hand and eat these as well, or at least some of them.

Akihiko wondered how Takahiro would fare, seeing Misaki like this. He had warned him on their last phone call about his little brother's state, but the older Takahashi was unwilling to put off their reunion any longer. And Akihiko couldn't blame him; the brothers had been apart far too long already.

The hiss of the kettle drew him back to the counter. Retrieving his cigarette, Akihiko took a few more generous puffs as he selected a beaker from the cupboard and made Misaki's tea. No sooner had he set this aside to cool than the coffeemaker pinged, alerting him that his own brew was now ready.

A light cough seized him and he set his cigarette aside again, his chest burning.

_Two weeks until I have to go see that specialist_.

The appointment had been made while at _New Days _to meet with a blood specialist at one of Tokyo's premier hospital's. Whatever Korovin had shot him up with during their fight in his lair had not only messed up his lungs but also his blood chemistry, and at his last test, things still hadn't looked right. Wondering if this meant he'd have to undergo yet another transfusion when he went to the hospital, Akihiko stifled his coughing, opened the cupboard again, and pulled down a mug for his coffee.

_Or worse, dialysis again._

His thoughts were disrupted by the loud crack of the beaker as it shattered once the steaming brew was poured into it.

"Damn it!"

The counter was now covered in black coffee and shards. "I thought I told the movers to leave the un-tempered glasses behind!"

Reaching out brush the mess into the sink, Akihiko jumped when a hand caught his arm and gently pulled him back.

"Stupid, Usagi-san! Don't use your hand; you're going to cut yourself!"

Though Misaki's voice was rough with disuse, it was quite possibly the loveliest sound to grace Akihiko's ears for days. Spinning around, he found himself staring into eyes newly bright with emotion. Doctors, coffee, counter all suddenly forgotten, Akihiko reached forward and gathered Misaki into him.

"What?" Misaki huffed out, as the arms around him threatened to cut off his breath.

"You've come back to me again."

Misaki's eyes widened at these words, mumbled into the top of his head. He closed his eyes and pressed against Usagi-san, using his lean Rabbit as brace against the impact of what this statement meant.

Thinking back, his most recent memory was the jarring crackle of shattering glass.

_Before that…_

Misaki struggled to remember, hating that he had apparently slipped out of things again and, from the strength of Usagi-san's embrace, he'd worried him terribly.

As his rousing mind struggled to sort things out, to recall when it was he'd gone AWOL, Misaki breathed a quiet sigh of thanks that he'd come back when Usagi-san was so close by. Memories from other instances when he'd "re-awakened" flashed behind his closed lids and his body began to tremble. The first time he'd gone "ghost" was with Korovin and the way the man had called him back had been terrible.

Feeling the shake start in Misaki's thin frame, Akihiko began to loosen his grip. He knew how difficult it could be when Misaki's senses returned to him, though he couldn't begin to truly imagine what such a dislocation might feel like. Warmth bloomed in his chest as, at his subtle release, Misaki only held on to him tighter. Taking this as a cue, Akihiko pulled his lover closer again, all the while peppering the tousled, dark head beneath him with grateful kisses. Then he forced himself to still while his boy gathered himself.

Misaki's breathing had picked up, but after a few minutes, it evened out. Lifting his head, his expression was anxious, but not frantic.

"How long?"

Cool fingers swept dark bangs from his forehead and warm, smoky lips pressed against it.

"Three days," Akihiko murmured.

Cautiously Misaki turned his head, studying his surroundings. Seeing the peculiar mixture of the new with the old and familiar, more memories tumbled into place. Gently, he pried himself out from Usagi-san's embrace and took a shaky step away from him. He lay a hand down on the counter, allowing the solidity of its surface to ground him.

"This is our new home?"

The way in which this question was asked, the tone of Misaki's voice, filled Akihiko with fresh regret. He held his breath as Misaki began to move about the kitchen, legs as wobbly as a newborn colt. It was so profound seeing the difference between this Misaki and the one he'd showed around the flat their first night back in Tokyo.

Akihiko cleared his throat, his eyes suddenly burning.

He stepped after, following not too-closely as Misaki opened cupboards and drawers. Violet eyes watched him pull a set of ceramic mixing bowls down from the cupboards, his thin arms shaking slightly beneath their weight.

"Do you like it Misaki? I mean what you've seen so far, the kitchen at least?" Akihiko held his breath as he waited for the answer.

"These aren't our bowls, Usagi-san." Misaki acted as if he hadn't heard the question. Instead he sifted through the set, lifting out the third-largest bowl. He held it out, his dark head tipped to the side.

"Ours had a chip in the rim… Here." Misaki ran his finger around the unblemished lip of the bowl. "Remember, you bumped it with a wine bottle?"

Akihiko felt his anxiety level skyrocket at this observation.

Seeing the worry in the waiting green eyes, he knew that he needed to confirm to Misaki that he was correct, assuaging any worries he might have about his renewed grip on reality. At the same time, Akihiko didn't want to give his lover any response that would send him plummeting back into the void.

"Yes, you're right, Misaki," he answered carefully. "The movers dropped ours in the move. I'm sorry.

"I know that I had given them to you as a gift. But I had them replaced with the same style, same make."

Misaki dropped his eyes and his fingers traced around the rim again. "Thank you, Usagi-san… You didn't need to replace them."

The breath he'd been holding slipped out of Akihiko in a shaky exhale.

"And thank you for t-telling me what happened."

A pang of guilt gripped Akihiko's chest and he was convicted for not telling Misaki the truth: it wasn't the movers who had broken his bowls; it had been done by their flat's last intruder. When Misaki looked up and Akihiko saw tears, he felt even worse.

"Misaki, I'm sorry… I'm sorry your bowls were broken."

Misaki set the bowl back on the counter and wiped his teary eyes with his sleeves. "Stupid, Usagi-san, I'm not c-crying about the bowls!"

Trembling hands gripped the edge of the counter.

"I just… Y-you always go to too m-much trouble for me…"

Akihiko watched his lover's shoulders shake. Quietly he moved over and set one hand on Misaki's. Misaki turned his head, but, still crying, couldn't bring himself to meet his eyes.

"I don't care about b-bowls, or kitchens… New flats… It doesn't matter! You're w-what's irreplaceable in my life Usagi-san…"

Hearing these words, Akihiko couldn't help himself. He took Misaki's hand and turned him around. Leaning down he captured his boy's lips in a deep but gentle kiss. Misaki's mouth held the flavors mint toothpaste and rice crackers and nothing had ever tasted sweeter.

After a long moment he pulled back.

"Your lips are salty, Misaki."

Pink bloomed on Misaki's cheeks. "You never minded my saltiness before."

The intimate tease in this response made Akihiko break out in a true grin. He chuckled and wiped away the tears from one of Misaki's cheeks with his thumb.

"So lovely, my Misaki."

Misaki turned even pinker at this and pushed his hand away. "I thought you always said I was a messy crier."

"Ah, yes, but you're my mess." Akihiko's hands found the edge of Misaki's jaw. Undeterred by Misaki's half-hearted batting at them, once he had captured Misaki's face again, he leaned in and brushed their lips together. He leaned his pale head over and whispered in Misaki's ear. "My Misaki, my mess, and I love you."

These words, said so earnestly, were almost too much for Misaki.

Within himself he could hear Korovin's low rumble churn, and he could only imagine what hateful things this voice would say. Unwilling to listen now, here, safe with Usagi-san in what was actually a palatial new kitchen, Misaki imagined a shut door, heavily padlocked, on the corridor of his mind where his past tormentor continued to reside. He also remembered the last promise that he'd made to himself before leaving new days: that he wouldn't let a day pass without telling Usagi-san, somehow, how much he loved him.

Not yet ready for words, however, Misaki turned his head instead and ghosted several small kisses across Akihiko's cheek. It was a language that his Rabbit was becoming increasingly fluent in and he responded with another kiss of his own. Here each met the other, and soon Misaki found himself backed up against the damp counter, hips pressed to its edge.

Usagi-san was gently cupping his jaw again as Misaki slipped his arms loosely around his author's trim waist. He didn't know what was going on, but he was burning with the desire for even closer contact. Suddenly too, he was aware of the growing hardness at his groin. His balls ached like someone had recently kicked them. The power of this want set a new blush in bloom on his cheeks.

Pulling back from the kiss, Misaki was both relieved and annoyed when Usagi-san easily acquiesced and released him.

"You okay, Misaki?" The concern in his lover's eyes and the warmth of Usagi-san's voice sent a jolt of electricity straight down Misaki's spine to his shaft.

"Uh… y-yeah." Misaki dropped his eyes.

"You're not feeling ill again, are you?"

The shake of a dark head in the negative set Akihiko off with more questions.

"Good. Well, so now that your back, do you want something more to eat?"

"No, thank you ,Usagi-san."

"Something to drink then? Are you thirsty? I made you tea; though it might be too cool now."

Misaki looked up again and this time and his gaze was immediately drawn to Usagi-san's mouth. His lips.

_Those lips... busying themselves with asking stupid questions when they should be wrapped around my…_

"Misaki?"

The sound of his name pulled Misaki back to the moment. Green eyes shifted and found their way up to Akihiko's worried violet gaze.

"Are you sure you don't have a fever coming on again? You look so flush."

Misaki wondered if he'd ever blushed so hard in life. He'd never emerged from one of his away times and found himself feeling so aroused, so desperately wanting.

"Are you tired? We can get you up to bed for a lie down. I can show you around the flat a bit on the way if you like?"

Every word Akihiko uttered; every brush of his breath in those low velvet tones of his, dripped like honey down Misaki's spine. He could feel the front of his briefs growing damp with his need.

"Usagi-san, hush!"

Eyes widened at how harshly Misaki rasped out this command, but when Akihiko saw his lover's embarrassed chagrin he tipped his head to the side curiously and waited.

"What I w-want… Usagi-san…"

Misaki felt himself throbbing and wondered if he might not come at Usagi-san's first touch. That was, if he would touch him. The thought that he might not was suddenly unbearable.

"W-what I n-need…"

Following Misaki's eyes, Akihiko saw that his boy's recent issue had "popped" back up again. Thrilled to have Misaki not only here with him now, but even more so seeking him out, at the same time, with Misaki so newly back in the present, Akihiko wished to err for once on the side of caution.

"Are you sure, Mi?"

The fierce annoyance at his question in the green gaze that met his, pulled a chuckle from Akihiko. He cut this short, however, when Misaki suddenly uttered a single word petition that was so laced with need it went straight to his core.

"P-please."

Nothing more needed to be said. In an instant, Akihiko moved in, capturing Misaki's mouth. He growled when his boy immediately pressed up against him, grinding, frantic for friction.

With a large hand gently placed on Misaki's panting chest, Akihiko pushed him back lightly, against the counter once more, before dropping to knees.

Misaki felt the cool palm on his chest drop down and his joined it. Four frantic hands tangled together in a rush to get his khakis off before forgoing the fasteners and simply pushing/pulling both his shorts and briefs down over his bonier hips.

The cool of air of the kitchen on his inflamed skin made Misaki gasp. Unable to help himself, he wound his fingers into Usagi-san' thick silver hair and pulled his lover to him. Only too happy to comply, Akihiko's mouth met his skin with an eager kiss or a light nip every place it could as his head was led down.

Moments later Misaki came loudly as he and Usagi-san christened their new home.

* * *

><p><strong>I know that in reality, the likelihood of emerging from a fugue state and jumping right into sexual activity is extremely unlikely, but this is fiction. And I wanted something happier this chapter. I mean, these guys deserve a break. Don't you think? Plus, if you have read my unfinished "Uke Flu" fic, you'll note that increased libido to the point of crazy-making is part of the symptomology in the earlier parts of the pregnancy.<strong>

**Also if you are just finding this fic and want more MPREG, Uke Flu style, I recommend that you check out The Black Flamingo 101's fic: "Uke Flu Sekai ichi Hatsukoi."Iit's complete and it has all the great angst and pregnant boys one could want.**

**Until next chapter, thanks to all of you for your favorites and follows. And those of you lovely enough to drop a line, your reviews are what have been motivating me to update so frequently, so thanks especially for those!**


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